It was all going so well. O was nearly moving out of the flat he shared with his ex and we were finally going to be a proper couple that do normal things. My patience would pay off and all would be straightforward and easy.
I should have known it couldn’t last.
O has to move away for work. When he broke the news to me he had only just found out himself so was still in a state of aggh “I don’t know what I want to do” mode. This is huge deal for his company and there is absolutely no question of him not accepting the contract. Even though he claims he may not take it – I know he will and the thought of ending it had not even crossed my mind.
Unfortunately, O cannot say the same.
When I posed the question of what this meant for us he went quiet and said that realistically he thought it would be the end. A lump took up residence in my throat.
The reason being that when I say he’s moving away I mean he’ll no longer be 15 minutes away but an hour and a half away. Hence the shock, this is not what I consider a long distance relationship, an ‘LDR’ is living in different countries not the next county over and that, at least to me, does not mean the end of a relationship.
Why is it so black and white to some people? Am I only good girlfriend material if I’m local? Screw the fact that the guy says he’s hopelessly in love with me. We’ll forget that he’s told his friends I’m the ‘one’.
But. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. When I questioned my friends on what to do next, I got a resounding play it cool line and I downright refuse to do this. I am not a game player and I am in way to deep to pretend that I don’t like the guy. Now is not the time to withdraw and protect myself by acting like I don’t care when actually I do.
S0 for now we are still together but despite what happens next, whether we give the not so long distance relationship a go, I’m worried the damage has been done. How can I rely on someone who would give up so easily?
And that’s why there’s a big elephant in the room. We’re acting like nothing has happened. Last night we had an amazing evening and the elephant managed to hide for the night but it emerges during the days and shows no sign of leaving.
Balls. It’s never straightforward, is it?
single but effective 